From Reno

There are times when I don't feel alive.

Get this. I'm driving down 93 along the mountains and the perfect blue of the sky in the west is making the storm clouds to the east look eerie. I'm nervous. I'm scared.

And I'm trying everything. I'm giving myself pep talks. There's no volume and I'm driving in silence. And I know that this is just a mindset, that this is just something I do to myself. Don't know why. All I know is, I need some perspective.

Life is just life. It's complicated. It's full of anxieties and miscommunications. And sometimes we want to move on, move along, move move move. I yearn for things to change, to change back or forward and always be different. Yet, when I think about how God has blessed me, I come to this solid understanding that I am breathing in air that is meant just for me. I am a piece of God's plan. An honest, true, necessary piece.

We will never know where our feet are headed. We will never fully understand why we walk this earth. We have fallen, we are unclean. How unsettling. The redemption lies in the only solid ground we have, an eternal God, a comforting Father, a magnficent Creator, a faithful Love, a wise Friend.

And so I've got my foot on the gas and the wind is in my hair and I'm a true course. It's scary but it's full. I'm nervous but I'm not alone. Oh, what an earth we live in. Oh, what a God whom we call our savior.

Oh, what peace I have in my heart.
Praise God.